It is time for me to arrive back to my journey, no matter where it leads or from where I already have emanated from in my previous 73 years.
July 4, 2022, turns out to be my time for revived personal independence and freedom. I again, after the lockdown, to write about my world , my mirror, in this Blogg. This does also include the many people I come in contact with on my travels and who I am grateful to for enlightening my foggy view at times. I fell in love with this wallpaper image I found and did not know why at first. This has been true for me as an artist to notice the attractions in my world around me without judgement.
I create artwork from these attractions, a form of love. My timeless episodes of painting, sculpting, or writing always helps me, like a mirror, find my place of healing. I believe now it comes from the soul, always and forever. My soul speaks through my art, and I am so grateful to have been shown and encouraged as a young child. My few years of teaching art, 2012-2019, to all ages, was a gift to me. To watch others, trust their personal creations and become enthusiastic. {meaning full of the spirit within}
This photo of a road heading into a fog seems obvious it represents our futures, yet I also saw it include the road already traveled.
My last couple of years has spurred on my desire to heal from my traumas, PTSD, and hopefully find
a renewed zeal for my future, of which I can see clearer each day the final horizon looming.
The current healing therapy has been very intense and so much more advanced from my early days of the 70's. I feel blessed to have lived long enough to take advantage of these new treatments, yet my time here is limited. This foggy photo has reminded me it will be okay to let some of my past be forgiven and let it go from my view or memory or even understanding.
The clear, in focus and divided road in the forefront of the image represents the HERE and NOW. This is where we stand each moment. We can choose to move forward with a willingness to embrace what comes in to view. A person, place, or event that will teach me what my heart yearns for. Life has been clearly a time for learning and most of all for making mistakes. A humbling experience yet the door we need to point us in the next direction, classroom so to speak. Most difficult for me has been the many meetings of persons on my highway. I have no doubt each has collided with me for a reason, for a chance to love and be loved perhaps? My many pets have at times been the most loyal with the gift of a being to express my love to too. Most important of all is To Love over being Loved. Note either way for me has been full of great joy and greater sorrow...................
This has happened may times, too many to count now.
I say thank you too All.
The foggy area engulfing the trees, road, view and even direction is also a blessing in disguise. Yes, because the foggy cold damp air is misleading. My periodic boughts of depression have made me so fearful at times. After so many in my lifetime I named a dear pet "Blue Sky". There is always somewhere a place above my dim view to catch the sun and continue to play out my future.
*******
A Footnote
On July 4, 2022 from 6-7pm Port Angeles' 4th parade passed by my window along that 2-lane street out my window. Early that morning I ran out to move my car off the main street parking spot to make room for the events to follow. It was the first one since Pandemic surge. I moved into the Lee Plaza Apartments a couple of weeks prior and was so impressed by the hour-long train of "Small town America" that passed before me. As I sat curbside right in front of Lee's doorway., I saw the bands, the politicians, animals, pets, floats, and of course the many bright red Fire trucks.
I was able to break away from my grieving for a short time, that I had moved from a home I loved so much. Anderson Island was a place I planted myself and I was blooming in so many ways. A small community where I could find a place for me to express myself to others. Art community, church fellowship and asked to be an honorary family member by my neighbor, to be another daughter, on her deathbed. " Her sunshine", I felt I was no longer invisible, instead like a bright light in her life. Her final conversation with me was a reminder of many others. Her feeling I was there so she could do this passage. "I cannot do this without you, "sunshine." and a declaration that I was to get on with my life and be happy.
I was to light up the way? yet I knew it was her faith and her knowing her rebirth was soon to come.
she was my sunshine too.
September 5, 2018, 8:30 am
********
I am looking for inspiration and blessings each day I wake up now each morning. I found this beautiful Jewish Blessing written in 100 B.C.E. by the Qumran community outside Jerusalem. This is from a Hebrew translation of the Dead Sea scrolls.
A BLESSING of LUCID FIRE and SECRET GRACE
May the being of the Universe
breathe into you the light of blessing and ripeness,
the fulfillment of health and balance.
May it protect you from
distractions brittle and bent
with a sphere of Lucid Fire.
May it enlighten
the heart of your passion
with the contemplation of living energy.
May it uncover the
hidden strength within you,
insight gathered from the eternal now. and
May it show you its face
of secret grace and silent refuge in a
communion of deep
PEACE.
********
in memory for Cocomoe
Portrait for Karen
.png)
